Missing a Step in Chiang Dao

Sandeep is constantly telling me I need to be more vigilant. About the kids, about walking on the street, about watching my stuff.  Historically, I’ve been known to be too carefree. So today when Kayan took a tumble down the stairs Sandeep earned the right to say “I told you so.”

This trip has already made me more mindful. There certainly appear to be many more ways to maim a child here than at home. Open fires, open ditches, no seat belts, no helmets, no railings… But I’ve also been trying to stay relaxed, to maintain my belief that kids should be able to run around without hovering parents.

Sandeep has also been trying his best to be less calculating about all the terrible things that can happen to us. He was even willing to make the one and a half hour trip to Chiang Dao and back in a Songtaew, the open pick up truck that he so feared on day one in Thailand. And he was trying to let go by allowing Kayan to run around the garden of our restaurant.

And then Kayan fell down the stairs and ended up looking like this.

Luckily, for being an active toddler, this is the worst damage he’s ever had. Both Sandeep and I are trying to strike the balance between caring for our children and allowing them room to explore.  What that means will probably change as we go through this trip. But in the end, isn’t that the balance that any parent anywhere in the world struggles to find?

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What We’ve Learnt to Live Without

I’ve joined a great Facebook group “Families on the Move” with other nomadic families. The group holds writing projects and today’s is about what we have learnt to live without. At the bottom of this post you can get to know some other traveling families and read about how they are living with less.

We’ve left behind so much stuff at home that was part of our regular lives. Here’s a sampling of things we have learnt to live without.

An alarm clock. Sandeep’s asleep by 9 and up at 5 to work. I blog at night, sleep at midnight and wake up at 8. I suppose what is said about humans needing eight hours of sleep is correct because we both wake up naturally to the cocks crowing in the morning rather than our rude alarms.

Cell phones. We’re nomads, not hermits. We still communicate with the world, but instead of being glued to our cell phones or running to the crackberry every time its red light goes off, we’re communicating at our own pace. We stay in touch through this blog and have purchased a Skype package so that we can make local and international calls. Being cell phone free has been a key factor in setting a slower pace of life.

Choice of shoes. This was a big point of contention while we were packing. Sandeep insisted that he needed a bag to himself because his shoes are bigger. He wanted to pack six pairs of shoes. In reality, we each only use two. One pair of walking shoes and another pair of casual flip-flop/sandals. To Sandeep’s credit, he has been running so he uses his running shoes as well. Mine are sitting idle at the bottom of the bag.

Wine. Food and non-alcoholic beverage is so cheap in Thailand, that it feels wrong to spend $30 for a bottle of wine. Ordinarily, we would order wine at dinners out, but we’ve become used to getting our anti-oxidants from fresh juices instead. Sandeep’s enjoying the local Chang beer, but since I avoid gluten, I’ve been dry for the past couple of weeks. I’m not sure this is something we’re going to live without for too long, though.

Children’s utensils. At home we had an entire cabinet in our micro-kitchen dedicated to children’s kitchen paraphernalia. Sippy cups, pacifiers, bottles, plastic forks and spoons, bowls and plates. We agonized over what to being from this assortment. In the end we brought a small Kleen Kanteen for each child, two plastic bowls with lids,  and two plastic cups. The Kleen Kanteens haven’t been used and the plastic cups have morphed into bath and pool toys.   We do use the bowls, but as food storage more than kiddie ware.The reality is that Kayan was forced to graduate to adult ware sooner than he would have at home. In the end we could have done without any of these.

Toys. Ava and Kayan will say that they want more toys, but they’ve certainly learnt to live without the scores of books, puzzles, dolls, bouncy balls, and blocks we had at home. Ava has even learnt to make do with just a handful of hair accessories. We spend a lot of time out together, so the kids are busy learning from the colors, noises and smells of our surroundings. We made a trip to  a toy stall here to buy a set of markers, coloring book in Thai and puzzles. These few toys, along with inventive uses of various household goods, have kept the kids entertained during down time.   I do confess that the iPad has also become a children’s toy, which I don’t mind too much since educational games such as Monkey Preschool to keep them entertained.

Here’s what other families are saying:

Windwalker Duo

Tripping Mom 

Living Outisde of the Box

A King’s Life

Globetrotting Mama 

with2kidsintow 

Family on Bikes

Living Without the Norm 

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510 Steps to Serenity in Chiang Dao

We are currently in the hills of Chiang Dao, about and hour and a half outside Chiang Mai. Since Tham Pha Plong Monastry is the closest outing to our resort, we decided to make that our activity for our first day here.

Ava and Kayan are so far away from the bustle of the city that they got straight to some tree hugging on our way to the monastery.

A visitor has to climb 510 steps to reach the chedi. Both kids started out really well.

There were plenty of inspirational messages along the way to keep us going.

And my favorite…

The kids were in great spirits, but the climb brought them to their knees at the end.

The monastery is set in serene forested surroundings, and the walk was completed worth every step. It’s the most peaceful time we’ve had on our trip so far.

Needless to say, the way down was a lot easier than the way up, but we treated ourselves to fresh lime and tamarind water for our efforts.

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The Real Housewife of Chiang Mai

Since blogging is the closest thing I have to a job right now and Sandeep is still working, I’m a housewife. The only brush I’ve had with being one before was maternity leave. I didn’t like it. Being without adult company for hours on end and not having professional goals drove me nuts. However, after almost two weeks as a Chiang Mai housewife, I’ve realized I am getting used to quite the luxurious life.

Here is my typical housewife day.

The morning starts at around 8 with the kids bouncing into bed. Be this time, Sandeep has already put in a couple of hours of work, is in a zone, and doesn’t want to be bothered.

The housekeeping crew comes in, does our dishes and cleans our apartment. At 9 our babysitter, Pang, arrives to give me a hand. We then call our driver and tuk tuk to take us for our morning excursion.

While we’re out, Pang occasionly takes care of the kids while I go shopping or get a massage. We eat lunch out and then come home in time for our private afternoon swimming class, which Sandeep joins.  Pang leaves in the afternoon, so I get the kids bathed and into bed for their naps. I then stroll to the neighborhood salon to get my hair blown out.

The kids wake up and the family goes for our evening outing, to a market, a temple, a restaurant or just a random walk. Tonight, Sandeep and I are going on our first date in Chiang Mai. I even went to the mall and got a dress for the event.

And this weekend, somehow we feel we need a getaway from this luxurious life  (Hamptons style?) and are heading north of Chiang Mai to Chiang Dao.

This all sounds quite obnoxious, so I am going to clarify now that part of the reason we chose Chiang Mai as our first base was to be pampered by low prices and ease of living. The large expatriate community here has equipped the city well for foreigners while still avoiding the chaos of Bangkok.

Here is what the goods and services I described above cost.

Housekeeping – included in our monthly rent
Babysitting – $3 an hour
Tuk tuk to city – $6 roundtrip
Massage – $5 an hour
Lunch out – $3
Private family swimming lesson – $12 an hour
Shampoo and blowdry – $2
Dress at the mall – $5
Weekend away – $25 per night at Chiang Dao Nest Resort

Anyway, this is a deviation form my real world and my days as a housewife are numbered. I may as well live it up.

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Our Babysitter in Chiang Mai

While this trip is intended to be a break from our real world, Sandeep is still working. Although not full time, he’s putting in 20 hours per week on average with Surya. That inevitably means that I am on kid duty a few hours each day. As hands on as I try to be as a parent, I struggle taking care of my two wild ones alone, and I wouldn’t even try to do so around and about Chiang Mai. For starters, it takes two adults to keep their four limbs inside a tuk tuk.

We asked our concierge about babysitting the day after we arrived. No response. We asked again. They were trying, they said. We waited a couple of days and asked again. Still nothing. When I pressed more I realized that there were babysitters, but no one they knew that spoke English.

At this point, I was tired of entertaining the kids in the apartment and decided I’d try the babysitter, even if she didn’t speak the same language.

When she arrived, I asked “What is your name?” She looked at me and apologetically shook her head. She really doesn’t speak ANY English. Somehow, with elaborate hand gestures, we manage to get through the days. Ava at first thought it was funny that an adult didn’t speak any English. Kayan didn’t seem to know the difference. She’s a pretty lady and that seems to be enough for him.

Kids are more adaptable and less judgmental than adults. When I watch Ava and Kayan with Pang (I finally figured out her name her third day with us), it doesn’t seem odd that she’s chatting away in Thai and they are responding in English.

Together, Ava, Kayan, Pang and I have been exploring Chiang Mai while Sandeep works. Somehow I trust her enough to leave the kids in her care while I do some shopping or take a solitary walk.  And the kids have already grown fond of her and look forward to our mini-adventures around the city.

 

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Sign of the Day

I’ll ask a Thai to translate this but, in the mean time, any guesses as to what it says? Also, any suggestions for how I can respond to Ava’s question “Mommy, what’s that man doing?”

 

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Earning our Dinner in Chiang Mai

Following our afternoon at the Chiang Mai Zoo, we ventured on foot to a restaurant that seemed to be adjacent to the alternate zoo exit on our Nancy Chandler Map. I love this map. With it’s details and annotations, it’s become my all in one guidebook to Chiang Mai. I am so full of love for this map, that I underestimated the disclaimer on the legend that reads “This scale is approximate only. We consider content more important than 100% adherence to scale.”

Finding the  alternate zoo exit was a challenge in itself. After the hyenas, the only sign we saw was a wooden board than read “Tropical Forest.” That was not an exhibit. We were in the tropical forest surrounding Chiang Mai. By this time it was dusk and I did not want to be stuck in a zoo in a forest with toddlers as bait.  After several minutes of complete solitude a motorbike passed and then made a U-turn. The concerned rider came back to ask if we needed help. “Yes!” The four of us seemed to exclaim in unison. “Do you know the way to Palaad Tawanron restaurant?” She assured us that it was 1 km away, to the right of the zoo exit.

We walked uphill for what seemed like 1 km, by which time it was getting darker. We finally found the zoo exit. The watchman was as surprised as the motorcyclist to see a family on foot. Once he knew our destination, he told us that we were 1 km away.

At this point we saw signs for the restaurant, which should have been assuring, except this is where they told us to go.

Sandeep carried Ava up the steep and windy hills while I pushed Kayan’s chubby body up in the stroller. And just when I had convinced myself that the worst that could happen is we spend the night in the forest eaten by mosquitoes, we came face to face with a very large and very angry looking wild mountain goat. Sorry, no picture. I was in full panic by now.

The goat ambled on his way while I fought  thoughts of him being followed by the Wild Africa exhibit. Another motorcyclist passed us and asked if we needed help. “Yes!” We panted. We explained. “Only 1 km.” With that, he sped off.

And then I saw the light. Quite literally.

We’d never been so happy to find a restaurant. The view was spectacular and the food very satisfying after our adventure. We ordered the house special fried pork leg, which was really an entire pork leg. We thought we’d never get through it, but were famished from our ‘trek’. Even the kids ate everything, including their vegetables.

If you get a chance to go to the Chiang Mai Zoo, go. It’s set on expansive grounds in the hills west of the city. The kids enjoyed the many parks and Kayan even fed an elephant for the first time.

If you go to the zoo, do make the trip to Palaad Tawanron. Just know that it is not as close as your map may say. Anyone who tells you it’s 1 km is using that as some bizarre figure of speech. And it’s all uphill. If you trek it, you will have earned your meal. That is if you escape the wild animals on the way.

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Our Family Seeks Familiarity

No matter our ages or temperments, there are just certain things we think we have to have.

This morning Ava refused to board another Tuk Tuk unless it took her to a playground. In New York City, the kids were spoiled with countless playgrounds in our neighborhood. Chiang Mai, although it’s full of lovely temples, gardens and a river, has only one real outdoor playground. So off we went.

Kayan woke up from his nap crying for cranberry juice. Fresh passion fruit, watermelon, mango, dragon fruit, orange, guava juice or coconut water are available everywhere. But not cranberry. I was able to trick him with a concoction of apple and pineapple juices. He was suspicious, but it worked.

Sandeep couldn’t deny his Indian cravings any longer so we went on an evening hunt for Biryani. We found it at the Anusarn Market in the Night Bazaar, which has half a dozen Indian and Pakistani food vendors.

I’ve been missing my random trips to our corner bodega. This evening when I craved chocolate I went down to the Seven Eleven. So it’s not as quaint as a New York City bodega or a Thai corner store, but it was open at 10 PM and it had that Mars bar I needed.

Luckily these are all simple pleasures that we’ve been able to meet in Thailand, which is more equiped and easy to navigate than most other countries we are visiting. Let’s see how long we can fuel our habits.

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Finding Serenity on Cycles South of Chiang Mai

I forgot to add in yesterday’s post that Thais are very calm and collected people. Even their toddlers have composed tantrums. The most common phrase here is Mai Pen Rai or “never mind” and Chai Yen Yen or “take it easy”.

It’s this serenity that I was hoping to find by parking the family in Chiang Mai for a month. Unfortunately, because we chose to stay close to the Old City, we very much feel like we are still living in a city. We sought respite today by taking a private cycling trip south of Chiang Mai.

It was Ava and Kayan’s first time on cycles. By on cycles, I mean strapped to them. One objective of this trip that is already playing out is Ava and Kayan bonding. They are so attached to each other that they refused to sit in separate trailers. This worked out well for Sandeep since he was excited about getting some outdoor exercise. And it worked out well for me because I am all about leisure.

Our guide, Meaow, was patient with the kids (yes, Kayan had another tantrum, but it was on a much smaller scale today) and gave us an orientation to Thai Buddhism. The Buddhist temples I had seen in other parts of Asia are less ornate than the ones in Thailand. Her explanation was that the temples are bright to represent light or ‘the way’.  I don’t know much about Thai Buddhism, and have added that to my things-to-learn-on-this trip list.

Ava was having some trouble with the way, because when she saw this Ferris wheel, she said “Look Mom, we reached Coney Island!”

We got our break from the city and have already asked Meaow to take us out next week to visit Doi Saket, a nearby mountain. I hope Sandeep is still up for carting the two kids when we reach those hills.

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Screaming Toddler in Chiang Mai

*sigh*

Many people told us that we were brave to attempt this trip with two kids so young. We brushed this off… Our kids are well behaved, we thought. They sleep well, food is usually not an issue, and they have no stranger anxiety. What could possibly go wrong?

This evening, we got the first taste of the miserable side of traveling with toddlers.

Every Sunday evening, Walking Streets Chiang Mai closes a portion of the small and windy roads of the Old City to traffic. Don’t be fooled that this is a leisurely walk. Tuk tuks and motorbikes are replaced by hoards of visitors and vendors. The only way I could track Sandeep was to keep and eye out for his clean head, which is about a half foot higher that the general crowds here. Ava was kept in sight after we tied a balloon to her (at $2, it was the most expensive thing we bought all day). And Kayan…well, Kayan needed no visual identification because he made his whereabouts clear by being in a  rage the entire evening.

We are trying to wean him off his pacifier. He was so upset by our determination that when we finally caved in and plugged it into his blaring mouth, he ripped it off and flung it on the street. That resulted in even more elaborate verbal and physical rage.

Walking Streets is an opportunity to sample hundreds of street stalls from around the city, to peruse many handicraft vendors, and to get a $5 an hour foot or body massage on the lounge chairs than line the sidewalks. Sadly we couldn’t enjoy any of this.

Sorry I have don’t many pictures to share. I snapped this during Kayan only minute of calmness, when we convinced him that rice on a stick is a lollipop. Notice despite all of this, the pacifier still made it into the picture.

Let’s hope Kayan has nightmares about his pacifier tonight so that we can put this chapter behind us.

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