Category Archives: Travel With Kids

August 1, 2012 · 4:20 pm

Cape Town Carves a Place in Our Hearts

Our departure from Cape Town to Rio  is symbolic because Cape Town is our last real “base”. We consider a base to be anywhere we spent at least a month. Our bases (Chiang Mai, Kerala, Goa, Istanbul, Vouliagmeni, and Cape Town) allowed us to set a slow pace of discovery and time to integrate to local life. We designed our trip to have several bases, a luxury we had given the extended time of our journey. In each of our bases we adopted coffee shops, found babysitters, filled SIM cards, frequented grocers and playgrounds, and got to know our neighborhoods. Our mindset was different than during our quicker stops, which we approached more like vacations. When we only had a week or two in a place we tried harder to see the sights. In our bases, however, we lived regular lives and never felt rushed to work through a list of must do’s.  Rio will be the last stop of our journey. We will be there for only two weeks, so it will be more like a vacation as opposed to a base. From there we will head back home, where, due to our routine lives and limited time-off, we’ll be taking only vacations.

As we packed yesterday, we sifted through a house that fast become our home for shoes under couches and clothes in closet corners. There was a tug at our hearts as we packed. Was it because South Africa is the penultimate country of our around the world journey and we know the end is near? Was it because we are leaving a few relationships that we started without the chance to see them grow? Perhaps because Amma just left for India and we’re going our own way to Brazil? Or is it due to the many things that make Cape Town unique among anywhere else we have been?

At the beginning of our journey we were surprised how quickly our family adjusted to each new place. Our short term rentals became home within a few days and we made neighborhood friends quickly. The routine of packing, flying and settling in to a new country now seems so natural. Cape Town has been the longest stop of our journey and given how quickly we settled down, it’s all the harder to leave. During our last few hours of Cape Town sunshine, we took one final walk around the familiar streets that guided us out for adventure and pointed us back home.

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July 30, 2012 · 6:01 pm

Souvenirs From an Around the World Journey

One of our routines in Cape Town has been a weekly trip to the vineyards of Stellenbosch and Franschoek. We tried to ship a few cases of our favorite bottles but the import laws for personal consumption in The States make this a daunting task. We thought these wines would be the few souvenirs we collected on our trip.

As I was packing our two duffle bags for our Wednesday departure for Brazil, I was struck by how similar their contents are to when we left home on November 1, 2011. Despite the colorful markets and unique items we have seen around the world, our bags are generally devoid of souvenirs. We left with two bags stuffed with clothes and shoes and are returning home with the same. Some of the clothes are different, since the kids got a change over mid way through our trip when our families showered them with gifts in India. That worked out well since they’ve been growing at such a rapid rate. Sandeep and I bought a handful of clothes along the way, generally to replace something that was wearing out.

We have been pretty strict about wanting to complete our journey light, with the same luggage that accompanied us out of New York. That has meant that we have not accumulated much by way of material goods. We have restricted ourselves to two mementos from each country. The first is a Christmas ornament. Ever since Sandeep and I started dating, we have been collecting ornaments from every place we travel. These aren’t traditional round glass ornaments, but rather something we can hang on a tree that reminds us of where we have been. They range from a Thai hanging elephant to a wooden South African flag.

Our other collection is coins. We have gathered two coins from every country, one for each of the kids. We used these currencies every day, yet when the kids grow up they may not exist in their current form (the Euro as an example!). The kids also started an impromptu collection of stones and sea shells. We’re not sure how the kids will decipher the origins, but they feel very attached to their selections.

It would be wonderful to fill our new home with things that remind us of this journey but it’s impossible to materialize memories. How do you carry the experience of climbing a Himalayan mountain or eating at a hawker market? We can’t bottle the Greek sea air or travel with a Turkish hammam. We’re so happy to have our stories documented on this blog. Each post will take us closer to where we were. We’ll reminisce extra every Christmas as we look up at the tree. We may forget where each shell came from, but hopefully not the  happiness we felt as we collected them.

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July 24, 2012 · 4:59 pm

Ava and Mama Go on a Date in Cape Town

Seven months ago Sandeep and I were getting ready to go out on a date in Kuala Lumpur. As we were walking out the door, we saw Ava all dressed up and Kayan with his shoes on.  Ava announced, “Kayan and I are going on our own date to the playground.” Her interpretation of a date was spending time with someone she cared about doing fun stuff. That made us realize that kids need dates and special bonding sessions just like adults. Even though we love spending time as a family, Sandeep and I take opportunities to go on dates while we travel. We get some drinks, listen to music or catch some local theater, like this memorable clown play in Istanbul.

Ava and Kayan go on their own dates, often engaged in made up games.

We have found a lot of value in this one-on-one time and decided to implement dates with our kids. Ava and I had our first date today over haircuts. You may be familiar with Kayan’s haircuts around the world. Ava’s last trim was in New York but we haven’t felt the need for a cut since her hair just grows into tighter curls instead of gaining any length. Ava told the stylist she wanted a haircut like Kayan’s, but luckily I managed to convince her out of that. Her second request was, “Cut my hair straight.” Ava gets continuous compliments on her curls, but I suppose that she is like any girl in wanting what she doesn’t have. We enjoyed an hour of mom and daughter bonding, fussing over each other’s hair and talking about our trip with the stylists. As we walked back home Ava said, “When I get home I am going to write A-V-A so that Dada knows who I am, because I don’t look like Ava anymore.”

Without other distractions, Ava and I had great conversations. Now we’ll have to figure out date activities for other adult-kid combinations.

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July 20, 2012 · 6:00 pm

Where Are We From? The Third Culture Kid Conundrum

While we were at a chocolate tasting yesterday, a hostess showed us a map of the world’s cocoa producing areas. When she said India Ava piped in, “I am from India and New York.” Not wanting to miss out on the conversation Kayan added, “And Cape Town.”

Sandeep and I always had difficulty answering the “Where are you from?” question. It turns out that we have successfully passed this confusion on to our children. Sandeep and I collectively lived in six countries and eleven cities before we started this trip. New York was home for nine years, the deepest place we ever planted roots. Kayan has spent just about as much of his life on our around the world journey as he did in New York. While Ava still carries many memories from New York, Kayan’s identity is transient and tied to wherever we are at a particular moment. The more we travel, the more we identify with we each new place. As it becomes easier to fit in it is harder to answer the question, “Where are you from?” I’ve always had slight envy for people who still call the house in which they were born home. We can barely identify ourselves with a country at this point.

A few weeks ago, a women asked if she could interview us an Indian family traveling around the world. She just launched desi globetrotter, an indie travel blog geared for the South Asian traveler, and wanted wanted to share our story with her readers. We were excited to participate but nervous that we wouldn’t come across as Indian enough for her audience. It turned out to be a fun interview because we decided to just be ourselves. Here is the link to the interview. Even though this is a travel site geared towards South Asians, I feel as though it could be a great interview from any cultural perspective. I was starting to get a little worried about our family’s lack of cultural identify when I read about Third Culture Kids.

“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any.” – www.tckworld.com

What’s interesting is that TCK research finally shed light on why we sometimes don’t feel Indian.

“Many TCKs take years to readjust to their [original] passport countries. They often suffer a reverse culture shock upon their return, and are often perpetually homesick for their adopted country. Many third culture kids face an identity crisis: they don’t know where they come from. It would be typical for a TCK to say that he is a citizen of a country, but with nothing beyond his passport to define that identification for him. TCKs’ sense of identity and well-being is directly and negatively affected by repatriation.”

Sandeep and I are clearly TCKs. Ava and Kayan, as kids of TCKs and world travelers are already cross-culture kids or trans-culture kids. Even though the TCK research gave us a framework to understand our cultural confusions, we don’t yet have an answer to “Where are you from?” I’ve toyed with “earth” and now “I’m a third culture kid” but I suspect those wouldn’t make us any friends. For now, “New York and India and Cape Town” seems as legitimate an answer as anything else.

We continued our chocolate tasting today over a game of scrabble. The rules were that we could put foreign words on the board as long as everyone knew what they meant. Cross cultural scrabble.

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July 18, 2012 · 5:50 pm

How We Discipline the Kids While Traveling

Anyone who has met a two-year old or a four-year old knows that there are times when things break down. Sometimes parents can isolate it to either hunger or sleepiness. However, there are plenty of instances when Ava and Kayan act up because they’re testing their boundaries and our sanity. Just because we are traveling does not mean the kids get a pass at discipline. Sandeep and I have gone back and forth with how to encourage good behavior. We haven’t wanted to go down the smacking route, although that is perfectly acceptable almost anywhere in the world except America. Reasoning with a toddler seems silly. After figuring out that many of these breakdowns were the result of over stimulation, we’ve come down to disciplining the kids through reflective time outs.

Here is Ava in her time out on a Greek beach. She was being naughty by insisting on throwing things around our restaurant table. We gave her five minutes of silence and contemplation.

This was Kayan today at a vineyard in Franschoek. He refused to stop trying to jump into a water fountain. Of course a two year old loves to play in water, but it became a safety issue so he got a few minutes to himself.

Kids, like adults, need time to reflect. Sometimes all they need is to be removed from the scene and from their parents for a few minutes. In New York City, time out was usually against a stark white wall. We’re not really sure if Ava and Kayan process the tapestries that serve as their new time out spots, but it sure makes it easier for us as parents to discipline them on the road. In Greece we ate our calamari while Ava decompressed. She returned to the table and finished her meal with no more incident. Today we enjoyed our wine and burger parings while Kayan decided it was best to stay dry. He spent the rest of the time pouring juice back and forth from the bottle to his cup. That’s the type of liquid play we’re fine with.

We’re not sure where time out will be when we return home. They certainly wont be over turquoise waters or dramatic mountains. On the other hand, if Ava and Kayan know that a stark white wall is all that awaits them, perhaps they wont get into any trouble.

 

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July 4, 2012 · 9:00 am

Freedom to Roam This Fourth of July

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.
– Nelson Mandela

Dear Ava and Kayan,

Today is the Fourth of July, a day when we celebrate our freedom as Americans. We’re observing this day from South Africa, a country that gained its independence in 1934 but continued to oppress the majority of its population via Apartheid until as recently as 1994. We have been traveling around the world for eight months and we have seen the many ways that freedoms are curtailed and enjoyed around the world. All of this has awakened us to freedoms we enjoy as Americans but take for granted.

As an American and as travelers, one of the greatest freedoms we enjoy is the freedom to roam. We are able to visit 10 countries in 10 months because we have the right passport. Many people around the world, even those with the means to travel, don’t have the freedom that you do to hop on a plane and cross borders. At two and four years old, you’re both already running out of pages on your first passports. We hope that you use and wear out dozens of passports in your lifetimes. Use this freedom to roam and explore our world, but always be respectful of wherever you land and defer to your host country’s way of life.

You may find out, as we have in our travels, that you aren’t always happy with how other people live. You are both already well versed with the Internet and enjoy watching episodes of Dora the Explorer on You Tube. However, the world’s second largest economy, China, doesn’t allow its people to access many user generated sites. Even this blog was blocked there, probably because we used the f-word (Facebook). As Americans, you have the freedom to read and watch what you want. Use it to educate yourselves and spread what you have learned.

You also have the freedom to say what you want. Ava, you use this freedom constantly for the 12 hours a day that you are awake. When we were in Myanmar we saw that the only widely distributed daily newspapers were government run and they told the people only what the government wanted them to hear. In contrast, we have been able to share our own travel stories with whoever wants to read it on one the world’s most widely read online news sources. When you grow up we suspect there will be information everywhere in forms that don’t exist today. Every story, even those you will read in school, have a point of view. Absorb as much as you can, but take the time to form your own opinions and then use the freedom you have to speak your minds.

Tell stories about what you currently think and what you foresee, but also share stories of where you have come from. You have the freedom to be be anything you want to be because prior generations fought for both of you to have equal opportunities. Your great-grandmother was denied the opportunity to become a doctor because of her gender. Things have changed. Ava, America chose to elect its first non-caucasian president the year you were born. A woman came very close. Take advantage of the path that has been paved for both of you.

Excel at whatever professions you pursue. But also use your the freedom you have to grow yourself spiritually. As an American you have the freedom to follow whatever religion you want. Even if you choose not to follow any religion, find what connects you on a deeper level to our world. Kayan, at only one year old, you already showed traits of quiet contemplation. You enjoyed every temple we visited in Thailand and seemed to instinctively know that they are places of quiet reflection. We hope that you hold on to this side of your personality as responsibilities grow in your life.

As an American, serving your country’s military is usually a choice. Your great-grand father chose to serve in the Indian Army and in Malaysia and Myanmar we visited the places where he was stationed. In some countries that we visited, such as Turkey and Greece, military service is a requirement. The decision to serve the military will be yours. If you choose not to, be sure you still serve the country by using your freedom to vote, your resources to give back and your education to be contributing citizens.

In Namibia and Greece we were free to appreciate so many natural wonders, from endangered animals to pristine beaches. These marvels are here today but you need to take care of them so that your own kids can enjoy our earth. Remember what we taught you about simple things taking care of plants and flowers so others can enjoy them, putting things in the garbage so our world stays pretty and turning off the water so that there is enough for everyone else.

We will be spending next month in Brazil, where our friend Joe and his boyfriend are going to come stay for a few days. America gives you the freedom to love who you want to love. You are free to commit yourself to anyone of your choosing. Whatever love ends up meaning to you, love yourself first and foremost and know that we will always love you.

As Americans we enjoy many freedoms. However, there are so many things that we can do to continue to enhance freedom within our own borders. You are lucky to have friends from a variety if backgrounds, but the reality is that most of our country still lives in pockets and you will have to make an effort to form relationships with people who are different from you. While we have the freedom to speak, we rarely talk openly about our most sensitive issues. There are things we would like to do but can’t because everybody is worried about getting sued. So even in America we have created our own borders and boundaries and some people would say that we aren’t really free. Freedom is a matter perspective, but take time every once in a while to appreciate the freedoms that you do enjoy.

Like our nation’s first settlers, your own grand parents immigrated to America in hopes of giving their descendants a freer future. Today you can embark on whatever journeys you want. Remember that it is not enough for you to be free, you must use your freedom to improve our world.

Roam free.

Dada and Mama

This post was inspired by the Facebook Families on the Move Group. Several members from all over the world chose to write posts today about freedom and travel. You can read their stories below.

Let Freedom Ring by The Nomadic Family

Are we free? by Living Differently

The Freedom to Choose by Living Outside of the Box

Freedom and Straying off the Beaten Path by Barts go Adventuring

Living a Free and Meaningful Life by Flashpacker Family

What is Freedom by Family on Bikes

Do you know what Freedom is by Bohemian Travelers

Free Falling by Break Out of Bushwick

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June 29, 2012 · 3:33 pm

A Cape Town School Turns Our Little Monsters Into Little Darlings

Yesterday I asked Ava a question and she replied, “Ja, ja.” Turns out that a few days in a Cape Town and she’s already speaking Afrikaans. This week has been all about language progress. She also wrote her first full sentence, with a little help from me on phonics.

We’ve thought a lot about how to properly expose our kids to the various cultures we visit. It’s one thing to show them nature, feed them foods and listen to music. However, as adults, we feel that the only way to truly know a culture is to get to know its people. We want to give the same opportunity to our kids and have found play schools to be a great way for the kids to form relationships with their own kind and learn about their new home society at the little level.

We have tried to involve the kids in activities wherever we’ve been, be in a toddler drumming circle in Thailand or a Malayalam preschool in India. Throughout these experiences, Ava and Kayan have never complained that communication was an issue. I suppose kids all laugh, swing and slide in the same language. This exposure has given them the confidence to make friends in random places. They are less shy to go up to another child at a restaurant, even when they know the child won’t speak English. It definitely helps that Ava and Kayan have each other. They give each other courage to be outgoing and confident in new situations.

To give the kids a peer group in Cape Town, we enrolled them at Little Darlings Creche for a few mornings a week. The crèche has a flexible schedule where both Ava and Kayan can be together rather than separated in age appropriate classes. In addition to the social exposure, the kids are indirectly learning about South African life. Last week’s theme in school was fire safety and the teacher lit a braii (traditional South African barbecue) to demonstrate how fire is used to make food.

The kids are learning about modes of transportation now. Africa is one of the few places where elephant makes that list. Perhaps as parents the best thing about a good school is the ability to use it as leverage. When things start breaking down we threaten not to take the kids to school (yes, we bribe them and we’re not ashamed if it). That usually restores peace.

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June 28, 2012 · 4:53 pm

Kayan Gets His Haircut in Four Continents

In April we introduced the International Toddler Haircut Index. A haircut is a good way to gauge the cost of services around the world. Our guinea pig is Kayan, whose hair grows at an alarming rate. Besides, Ava wont let us touch her hair, I can’t be bothered with mine, and Sandeep has none. Therefore, Kayan takes one for the team in the interest of travel research. Kayan has had his hair tended to in New York, Thailand, Malaysia, Turkey and today in Cape Town.

This is the hairdo Kayan sported this morning.

Here he is getting his haircut at Scar, whose tagline is “Good Hair for Bad People”. Kayan may be smiling in the picture above, but he is going through a phase of night terrors and tantrums so as far as his parents are concerned, he’s been bad. Scar was calling his name.

The haircut came to 80 South African Rand (US$9.5), which is the most we have paid for a haircut on our journey so far. Istanbul was $5 and South East Asia $2. The hairdresser was very impressed that Kayan stayed followed all her instructions. I realized that Kayan’s last several haircuts were given by people who spoke Thai, Malay, and Turkish. This was his first “English” haircut since leaving New York. “He’s just happy he understands what you’re saying,” I replied. She seem confused but Kayan was brushed clean before I could explain. This is Kayan after.

Now that I look closely, it’s probably time to subject Ava and Taniya to International Toddler Haircut Index research.

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June 20, 2012 · 3:44 pm

Family Daredevil Escapades on Namibian Sand Dunes

One of the greatest things about traveling with a family outside of America is that the kids are allowed to do all sorts of things that would trigger lawsuits back home. Kayan got on his first jet ski when he was 10 months old in Mexico. And to think we didn’t have to sign our lives away to do it.

Sand boarding in Namibia was another “only outside America” experience for our family. We contacted Beth Sarro, the San Franciscan transplant to Swakopmund who started professional sand boarding along Namibia’s coast. She said, “Sure, bring the kids. They’ll have fun!”

Almost the entire Namibian coastline is guarded by imposing sand dunes. Part of the stretch includes the Namib Dessert, the oldest dessert in the world and playground for fossil and gem hunting. The barren coastline looks so uninviting from the shore than early explorers chose to circumvent it and settled on more welcoming lands further north and south. Many who tried to brave the dunes saw their ships run aground miles from shore. The Skeleton Coast, a National Park that makes up the northern coastline of Namibia got its name due to the countless wrecks still visible in the water and on the dunes.

We thought that sand body boarding would be a good way to get up close and personal with the dunes as well as try a new activity. In Beth’s words, “No experience necessary. The sand boarder lies on their stomach shooting head first down the dune.” It doesn’t exactly sound like the smartest thing for someone (i.e. yours truly) who has an extreme fear of heights, but I am determined to overcome obstacles on this journey. I was lying face down on the slick board looking vertically at the bottom of a sand dune (more like a mountain from my snake-like vantage point), I almost thought about backing out. Before I could sit up I felt a push on my board and off I went to little echoes of “Bye Mama,” behind me. There are only two real rules for body boarding – chin up and elbows up. Let go of either and you’re gulping sand. If you do manage to keep chin, elbows and feet off the sand, you can reach speeds of about 60 km/h (37 mph) sand boarding, making it a free fall roller coaster ride. The bad news is that there are no straps or buckles to hold you down, but the good news is that even with the worst wipe-out you land on powdery sand. As I shot down, I kept repeating the chin up elbows up mantra and managed to skid safely at the bottom of the dune. Sandeep followed, with a little less grace since he was adamant to control his speed by plonking down his feet and derailing his trajectory.

We looked up to the top of the hill, where one of Beth’s assistant was watching Ava and Kayan, only to see Kayan getting into an all-fours position with his head facing down the slope. “No!” we cried. But the gust off the Atlantic Ocean drowned out any hopes of our voices reaching the top. The assistant was vigilant and strong enough to keep both kids in his grasp until we made the trek back up.

Ava and Kayan weren’t the first kids to watch their parents brave the dunes, and Beth had perfected the art of created a little slide to keep them amused at the top of the hill as we took turns boarding down.

As Sandeep and I slid, buried in, ate and whipped through sand, the kids were more than happy sliding and playing in their gigantic sandbox.

We’re not care free enough to actually encourage Ava and Kayan to go sand boarding. However, with a few modifications, all four of us can now say that we have slid down the dunes of Namibia.

 

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June 18, 2012 · 3:11 pm

Running to Slow Down

What instigated our around the world journey? Were we running from something or towards something? Our Facebook Families on the Move Group is running a series of posts to answer this question. Last week in Flashpacker Family, Bethany wrote about how an emotional and a physical earthquake prompted her and her husband to pack up their seventh month old baby and start living nomadic lives. Here is our family’s response to the “running from or to” question.

We weren’t running away. We were happy with our lives. We weren’t necessarily running towards anything either. When a window opened for us to travel full time, we jumped through it. Our only goal for the trip was to get “the diversion we need to appreciate each other, our world and ourselves.”

We took this trip to slow down. At home, Sandeep and I had packed work schedules. The kids had their own lives between schools, play dates and birthday parties. The four of us were happy and busy, but we really had to make an effort to connect with each other, our world and ourselves. Has the trip given us the diversion we needed to meet our goal?

Yes, we have been able to appreciate each other in the most magical and mundane ways. Last week we spent an hour making sand shadows in Namibia’s massive dunes, posing in all sorts of funny shadows and laughing hysterically. Each of us directed poses, something we had time to do because we were had no other agenda.

Yes, we have been able to appreciate our world. Traveling to all corners of the world has shown us that our planet is fragile and we are responsible for its upkeep. The snow lines in the Himalayas are receding, the Mediterranean is running out of fish and the flamingoes in Namibia aren’t migrating anymore. Our climate is changing more rapidly than we can fix it. We have been fortunate to experience nature that may not be around when our kids grow up. Our hope is that, by traveling to such diverse and fragile places, our kids have learnt to love our planet enough to take care of it.

Yes, we have been able to appreciate ourselves. Each of us has fostered interests that we didn’t have time for at home. I discovered a love for writing. Sandeep surprised us all by discovering a love for nature and has led us on some great adventures because of it. Ava has become an artist extraordinaire and Kayan has become quite the singer. The best part is that we all have time to actively participate and encourage each other’s talents – even when it means listening to The Lion Sleeps Tonight 50 times a day while searching for lions.

Sure we could have appreciated all these things had we stayed at home. But it would have taken a lot more effort and it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.

To continue our group’s “running from or to” stories, I invite Clark from Family Trek to tell us why he, his wife Monica and their two little ones decided on a life of travel.

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